i just made those hella awesome scrambled eggs according to gordon ramsay’s recipe and even though i had the most nauseating nightmares last night the good food did make my day better
now to crawl back into bed and hug my cat
THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW I’M JUST GOING TO DRINK AND HAVE FEELINGS OVER HERE AND PONDER OVER MY EVENTUALLY SELFISH DECISIONS
sighs i just need to go home and have a lot of drinks and think about individualism a lot??????
it’s structured the MAJORITY of my life and now that i’m like dipping my toe into the pool of “hey help others more than you help yourself” it’s like oh wow this is different but WHERE IS THE BALANCE WHY CAN’T I DO BOTH ugh i just askldfj blehhhhh individualism????
i need to reread some ayn rand
replay some BioShock
I AM SO DONE UGH why are the nightmares this bad lately uuuugh weh
Good night tumblrrrr
Hopefully no nightmares tonight
Alas, insomnia, we meet again
Ugh taking sleeping pills did nothiiiing I will still wake up at least four times a night bluh.
Can’t wait to be hooome.
Sometimes I’ll be lying in bed, and the sunlight hits my arm just right. It illuminates this trail of intertwining scars—some raised, some sunken, some smooth and dark. The light sets them aglow in perfect detail and I can see all the lacy little scars hidden between the others. One day I’ll have to let the sunlight point them out in between the lines of a tattoo, but for now they’re stark yet somewhat subtle. Yet all the ones that are there barely reflect what kind of damage I’ve done.
Ha ha ha ha haaaaa
Chronic nightmares yes exactly what I wanted right
Bluh
Good night tumblrrrrr stay classy and cute
# of times used as positive example in class: like at least six omg I did a good I DID GOOD AS A STUDENT and I got two more A+ papers back and I’m not gonna fail animation entirely so woweewow it is gonna be alright and I did EVERY LITTLE THING ON MY TO-DO LIST hot damn this is great I can sleep easy man
i’m the kind of asshole who needs permission to do just about anything
i just had to call my mother to ask if i had her blessing or say-so to get a B instead of an A and if she’d be okay with me not having a solid 4.0
sigh
One more week til I have an escape, one more week until I have to start putting coverup on my arms and wear long sleeved shirts until the scars on my shoulder fade, one more week until I can sit up all night on the back porch watching the stars drinking cider, one more week until I can hug my cat or sleep all day or eat good food or finish all my commissions
One more week until I have the option to take care of myself instead of others, one more week until I feel okay
all of these writers in the class
“how am i supposed to know how fast a dead body cools”
i don’t know it’s called google
slkdfjkljkdj i just
i have googled shit like necrosis and also rotting bodies on fire so you can afford to google body temperature post mortem
to-do:
tuesday:
- after classes do hw
- do laundry
- finish animation reference
- start blocking animation
wednesday:
- pick up meds
- send out return
- PICK UP BOOK omg pick up book
- write up portfolio, send it out, 2-3 page reflection on strengths and weaknesses as a writer, as a workshop participant
- finish creative essay
thurs:
- lab, WORK ON ANIMATIONNNNNNN
- hand in all work blargh
weekend is all just workworkworkwork on animation and packing
aaaaaaaah
i know it’s stupid and cheesy as fuck but there are like 2 songs that if someone played them to me i’d just start crying and like idk hug them forever????
songs that describe me to a T and are essentially personal hymns of a sort and wow if someone ever was like “i hear this song and think of you” it’s kind of like the ~ultimate test~ of “wow too late you’re staying in my life” AND I KNOW IT’S SILLY to sort of keep it under wraps like i don’t define my friendships based on this obvs but if it ever occurs that’s like idk BONUS POINTS
silly rambling
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